Harry Potter: Search for a Supermodel Contest
by ali-brandybuck
Summary: Harry wakes up at Hogwarts to find that things are not as he expected, and things are going to change...Snape weirdness and a litlle bit of a cross-over R/R PLEASE!!!!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: none of this is mine, Harry Potter's not mine, although I wish he were, the NIN song isn't mine, that annoying American Idol judge isn't mine, none of it is, so don't sue me, all you'd get is a few text books and dvd's.  
  
This is the first fic I've written for a reason, all my others have been scrapped because they were crap so in a way, this is my first fic, don't blame me if it sucks! I wrote this for my friend Kathryn's birthday because she loves Harry Potter so that explains some of the later characters, enjoy!  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Harry rolled over in bed, blinking as he registered the light pouring through the open window. Unlike all his other adventures, this one starts at Hogwarts in the middle of the day, as opposed to the dead of night at number 4 Privet Drive. Harry pondered this for a moment 'strange' he thought.  
  
Pulling on his glasses he swung his feet to the floor, examining the assorted objects he and Ron had acquired during last nights drunken follies. Checklist: Special Edition Yu-Gi-Oh! DVD, tick. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, tick. Pile of signed photos of some insane fan girl calling her self 'Kathrynmort', tick. Draco Malfoy's silk negligee, ti. WHAT?!?  
  
"Ok Harry, calm down," Harry squeaked, "Hermione should be able to figure out what the hell's going on."  
  
He stood up rather more quickly than he usually would have and, pulling on the only pair of clean robes he could find, walked out the door. 


	2. Announcement

The Great Hall was buzzing with excitement when Harry arrived for breakfast. Hermione was reading a thick book '50 Fisherman's knots', while Ron looked over her shoulder, winding a leather strap around his hands and looking confused. "I dunno how anyone expects me to tie that knot using leath. Hi Harry!" Hermione looked up from her book, "Good morning Harry" she chirped, "guess what, everyone's saying something about a 'Search for a Supermodel' contest being held at Hogwarts during the next few months, isn't that just so cool?" "Uh, yeah, sure it is Herm," he mumbled absent- mindedly. "Hey Ron maybe you should practice those knots on a piece of rope before you move onto the leather, eh?" Ron scowled at Harry. "Meh" was his only reply.  
  
The hall went quiet when Dumbledore stood up; he cleared his throat, and petted Fawkes lovingly on the head. "As you all may have heard, these next few weeks at Hogwarts there will be a 'Search for a Supermodel' contest being held." At these words Snape twitched, and looked thoughtfully ahead, into the distance, as if remembering some fond memory of his youth. "So," Dumbledore continued "for the 5th years and over, this is a brilliant opportunity for you to begin a meaningless and material career. Entries will be collected in the entrance way, that is all."  
  
Ron turned to Harry with a manic grin on his face. "Harry, man, we have to enter.just think of all the chicks!" He had a point, Harry had to admit, "but, what about our work, wont that be." He was cut short be a hand sailing through the air and smacking into the side of his head. "Shut up you dumbass, we're entering!"  
  
And so, it seemed, was Draco Malfoy. He sat sandwiched between the now significantly bulkier Crabbe and Goyle, twirling the end of his baby pink feather boa around his little finger, and chewing his tongue. It was his 'thinking position'. 


	3. Application

Potions that day was hell. Harry didn't care what anyone else said, it was his opinion that the stick lodged oh so firmly up Snape's ass, if at all possible, had gone up further. Snape had spent the whole lesson staring absently into the distance while his expectant class waited nervously in their seats. Snape only moved to curse people who disturbed his staring. Things that disturbed his staring ranged from passing notes, to charming your best friends hair purple (Seamus got bored).  
  
After all their classes for the day were over, Harry and Ron took their "Search for a Supermodel' entries to the entrance hall. They had just dropped them into the custom-made entry box when they heard a short, exasperated sigh.  
  
"Honestly, they let anyone enter these competitions these days, don't they Crabbe!" Draco Malfoy was standing with his hand on his hip, blowing a piece of hair repeatedly out of his face. "Uh, yeah" droned Crabbe, in his own uniquely intelligent way. "Anyway, what are you doing here Potter? Do you seriously think you have a chance at winning this competition? And Weasley? I'm surprised that he can even afford the paper he wrote his entry on." Although he said this somewhat without conviction, Ron still looked hurt. "Malfoy, you bastard" spluttered Ron, shaking.  
  
"Come, Crabbe. We have better things to do than talk to these low-life's." And with that he turned on his heel, flicked his long blonde hair over his shoulder, and nanced off. Harry and Ron trudged out after him.  
  
Hermione snuck into the entrance hall, dropping her entry into the box, and quickly making her exit, stage left.  
  
Meanwhile at number 4 Privet Drive, Dudley had his tongue stuck in the toaster, again.  
  
A flood of people rushed out of one of the classrooms, a heavily accented Russian scream echoed through the corridors "The British are coming, the British are coming!" 


	4. Judge

The judge of the competition was announced about a week later, during Harry, Ron and Hermione's Transfiguration class. Hagrid heaved his way into the classroom, breathing heavily from his slow walk up the hallway. "The judge for this competition's been announced, Professor McGonagall, it's Simon Cowell from that muggle program 'American Idol'. Bit of a tosser in my opinion but whatever Dumbledore says is fine by me."  
  
Harry gasped in shock. Simon Cowell? He had heard rumours of this Cowell character, and none of them were pretty. He was said to be the toughest judge in all of Britain, Harry sighed as he saw his chances of winning slip further out of his reach. "Shut up Harry!" said Hagrid, annoyed at the variety of inhaling and exhaling that Harry was demonstrating.  
  
The next day, the competition was to begin. Simon had arrived at the castle that night and the competitors had all been announced: Hannah Abbot, Susan Bones, Millicent Bulstrode, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Fred Weasley, George Wesley, Ronald Weasley and Blaise Zabini.  
  
Harry sat in the Gryffindor common room, weighing up the competition. He had no idea that Hermione had entered, but he assumed she had wanted to keep it quiet for as long as possible, she probably thought it was 'really quite silly' anyway. He went to sleep with difficulty, thinking of what tomorrow would bring.  
  
The first day of competition began, and the contestants were all assembled in the Great Hall. Simon stalked to and fro before them, before turning and addressing his audience. "I imagine some of you think this will be a laugh, that it will be easy, well, it wont be as easy as you think. I see very few of you as having supermodel potential." He glared at Neville, who flinched. "But for the few of you who do make it to the final rounds, this will be a taxing competition. Any questions?" You could practically hear the crickets chirping as the tumbleweed bounced past. "Good" Simon continued. "The first round is a talent contest. Think of what you are good at, practice it, and we will begin the performances in two days."  
  
"What the hell am I good at?" Ron thought out loud, when they were in the common room that night. "You do that muggle 'rapping' quite well don't you? You could always do that." Suggested Hermione. "Hey, good idea Herm, cheers," and with that he raced up to his dorm to find his book of angry lyrics written by try-hard muggles trying to make money. "What are you going to do Harry?" "I dunno, maybe I'll sing Freak on a Leash or something, what about you?" "Me? I'm going to sing a song about all the different types of tea in the world!" "Um, ok, I'm. gonna go check on Ron.bye."  
  
Harry had an interesting encounter with Snape the next day. He was sitting in potions with a copy of 'Freak on a Leash' on his knee, when Snape walked up behind him, put a hand on his shoulder, and stared off into the distance. Harry was sure this was a pivotal plot moment, he just wasn't sure why. "Um, Professor?" he tested, no response. "Professor? What's wrong? Are you." "Young Potter, you have much to learn, things that I can teach you, so that you may reach heights that I could not. Come to my office this evening after dinner," and he walked to the front of the room, as if nothing had even happened. 


	5. Discovery

When Harry arrived in Snape's dungeon he remembered how cold it got down there, and cursed himself for not bringing his Weasley jumper. He wrapped his knuckles against the hard wooden door and waited for Snape to answer. When he did, Harry wished he could have waited a little longer. Snape was wearing a purple sequined jumpsuit and bright green platform shoes. "Come in my child" he almost whispered. "What the hell?" Harry thought as he crossed the threshold of the small room, Snape was acting really normal!  
  
"Sit Potter" commanded Snape, so Harry took a chair in front of his desk and sat down. "Potter, what I am about to tell you must never leave this room, is that clear?" "Yes Professor." "Good. This whole business of 'Search for a Supermodel', when I heard that you were entering I must admit I became somewhat excited." He turned to look at Harry. "Potter, when I was just a little older than you, I was a supermodel, but I didn't make it." He paused for a little, and sighed. "I have been thinking these last few days, and I believe that if I can lead you to victory, then maybe I will be freed of the demons that have haunted me for the past 17 years."  
  
Harry was shocked, Snape had been a super model? I'm sorry, but this needed proof. "How can I be sure you're telling the truth?" Harry said sceptically, "how can I know if you really were a supermodel, and you're not just trying to trick me into doing something stupid?"  
  
"Ah, you have a point" admitted Snape "well I suppose it wouldn't hurt for you to see this then." He pulled a picture frame out of his desk drawer and looked at its contents for a few moments, then turned it to face Harry. Harry's jaw dropped, staring back at him was one of the most gorgeous 18 year olds he had ever seen. Long black hair swept back over one shoulder, flowing over a black turtle neck and down to loose fitting black leather pants, slung low on slim hips. He looked at the face again, it was most definitely Snape, just not.Snape. It was Snape with lowered eyelids covered in shimmering black eye shadow. It was Snape wearing black lipstick, a crucifix, and spiked wristbands.  
  
Harry coughed and handed the photo back across the desk. "Why didn't you make it? He asked quietly, almost sympathetically. "Oh, just a little someone called Kathrynmort, that's all." "Oh," said Harry, "I see." Well, there was really no need to go any further was there? Everyone knew the story. "Ok, I'll do this for you" said Harry, "but you don't tell me what to do, I'll just work harder than I was going to, I can only do my best, I hope that's enough to get me through to the end."  
  
Snape smiled, a rare occurrence "thank you Harry" "Bye Professor," Harry said as he walked out the door. 


	6. Competition Begins

"Draco Malfoy" Simon's bored voice rang out through the Great Hall and Draco stepped onto the stage, he cleared he throat, raised the magical microphone to his lips and began to sing.  
  
"Staring at the sea,  
will she come?  
Is there hope for me?  
After all is said and done.  
Anything at any price,  
all of this for you.  
All the spoils of a wasted life,  
all of this for you."  
  
He looked at Ron as he sang, and when he finished his song he turned to look at Simon, who looked.unimpressed. Draco was the last act for the day.  
  
"I've seen only two acts that are even mildly good today. But, as I have to put 4 of you through to the next round, I'm forced to dig from the bottom of the barrel: Neville Longbottom, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley." Simon sighed and turned towards the not so fortunate ones "Miss Granger, what the hell were you thinking? Tea? Although I'm amazed as to the diversity of that particular beverage, as illustrated in your 'song', that is definitely not supermodel material. You all should have tried harder."  
  
Hermione was pissy for the next few days, but Harry and Ron were both pretty happy. Harry had a few more encounters with Snape, but nothing drastic, just some girly flashbacks of nights at home talking with friends over a cup of pumpkin juice, and things like that.  
  
The next round in the competition was the swimsuit contest. Harry, Ron, Draco and Neville were to nance around on stage in the sexiest swimsuit they could find, in hopes of impressing the unimpressible Simon.  
  
Harry lugged his books down the corridor, he had been studying in the library, and was returning to the common room for the night, when he heard it for the first time. "Harry.Harry.I know what you're doing, stop trying, you can't save him now.no one can save him now."  
  
Harry looked around frantically, looking for his tormentor, he missed the girl standing in the corner, wearing wall patterned clothing, and covering her eyes with her hands, like little kids do. Because if they can't see you, then you can't see them. Stupid isn't it. But hey, it worked on Harry.  
  
He ran as fast as he could back to the common room, spluttering the password "National Economic Development" at the Fat Lady. She swung out of the way revealing the entrance. "Ron!" yelled Harry, "Ron, I'm hearing voices in the walls, they know things about me, things that no one else knows, I dunno what's going on!" "Ok, um, neither do I. Maybe if you leave them alone they'll go away?" "Not helping, Ron! But maybe you're right, if I just ignore them they might go away." "I'm going to bed, night Harry." "Night Ron"  
  
It was the day of the swim suit final, today the supermodel would be found, it usually would have taken longer but due to Hogwarts' general lack of enthusiasm, hardly anybody entered, and well, you can't have a competition without contestants can you? Simon walked in, supporting his usual happy face. "What are you going to subject me to today?" he asked in a rather unimpressed way.  
  
The school started to file into the Great Hall. "Oh crap, the whole school is going to see these failures?" Simon thought "God have mercy."  
  
The chatter disappeared when the lights went down and Neville appeared on stage, dressed in a ridiculous 60's bathing suit.it was baggy.and it had stripes.but everyone seemed to love it. Neville paraded around the stage, rather haphazardly, but still it was parading and that's all that really mattered. His little number ended and he left the stage with a wave and blew a kiss to the audience, about three girls fainted and had to be taken to see Madam Pomfrey. But on with the show. Ron was next, he had chosen a slightly more revealing ensemble, a bright red women's one piece. It clashed with his hair horribly, honestly that boy had no fashion sense. He paraded and spun, he wasn't as impressive as Neville, but he had set a high standard.not fair really. Ron was cheered off the stage in a shower of red roses, which also clashed with his hair. To the colour-blind person it was a brilliant performance.  
  
Draco stood to the side of the stage wrapped in a blanket. The lights went down and he stepped onto the stage, dropping the blanket, the spotlight illuminated his lithe form and he began to nance around the stage in his cute little black tankini in a way that can only be described as 'Malfoy'.  
  
Simon raised an eyebrow, he may be impressed, now that would be something! Oh well, if he's not, then points for effort Draco darling. With a final twirl and a nance Draco left the stage. The crowd cheered, they seemed to like his performance.  
  
It was Harry's turn, and he knew that he would have to give the best performance of his short life. Once again the lights went down and he took his position on the stage, Firebolt clutched firmly in hand. The infectious beat of 'Sadie the Cleaning Lady' began to fill the hall and the stage lit up. Throwing off his robe to reveal the skimpy pink bikini underneath, Harry stepped into the light, leaned his Firebolt over in the same way that someone would if they were dancing with a hat stand, and nanced his little heart out.  
  
The crowd went wild! Harry nanced his final nance and looked out to the audience, hugging a huge bouquet of roses (which had been thrown at him). "Thank you," he said, eyes sparkling, "I love you all!"  
  
A solitary figure reclined against the wall. A large, dark hood pulled over his head, shading his face. He folded his arms against his chest and sank further into the shadows. 


	7. Intruder

Simon picked the papers up off his desk, and reclined in his chair. "Well wasn't that just fantastic," he announced in a rather bored way. "Ok, Ron, what the hell was that? I've seen better performances at children's parties. And as for all the red, you should know that it definitely isn't your colour." Ron sat, chewing on his fingernails and crying. Draco shot him a sympathetic look then turned to look at Simon.  
  
Simon then fixed his attention on Neville. "Neville you were better, slightly. I enjoyed the song you sung in the first round (Neville had sung the Pussy song) but you just didn't meet the standard this round, you come third, here, have a tissue." Neville took the tissue, sighed, and sit wistfully to the side of the stage.  
  
"Now Harry and Draco, it was a tough call, but I think I made the right decision, and I think that you will think so too. I'm sorry Draco but you just weren't good enough. Congratulations Harry." Draco choked back a sob and ran off the stage into Ron's arms, which hugged him protectively. Harry saw this and was instantly confused. "Ron? Draco? What's going on? Are you two a couple.oh my God you are, that's how Draco's negligee got to be on our dorm room floor!" Ron grinned sheepishly at Harry. "Um, surprise."  
  
The dark figure pushed himself off the wall and hurriedly walked towards the stage, throwing his hood off on the way. Everyone's jaw dropped. He was gorgeous! He stepped onto the stage beside Harry and glowered at him, "so, you think you can nance better than me eh? Well we'll just see about that!"  
  
"Excuse me, but who are you?" Asked Simon, slightly shocked at the blonde interruption. "I am Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood. I have come to defend my nancing championship from these fiends!" He cried, rather too dramatically for Harry's taste, who was still in shock about the Ron/Draco thing. "I challenge you to a nance off, Harry Potter!"  
  
"Yes, this is brilliant!" Cried Simon, who was becoming quite bored with the whole affair. "Whoever wins this nance off will be our supermodel!" Harry agreed, although rather reluctantly. He still remembered his obligation to Snape, and hated to think what would happen if he didn't win.  
  
"Ok, on my count, 3.2.1.Start!" Simon called, and Harry and Legolas nanced for their lives. It was a close call, but Legolas pulled through on top. Harry sank to his knees on the stage, turned his face to the enchanted ceiling and screamed "WHY??????" 


	8. End

Legolas waltzed around the stage chanting, "Yay I won, yay I won, yay I won!" He was the supermodel.  
  
Snape looked sadly at Harry. "You did your best, Harry. That's all I asked for." He looked at the wall and a look of shock registered on his face, "Ka.Kathrynmort? Is that you? You still wear wall patterned clothing?" Snape paused for a moment and then continued. "I told you we can't see each other anymore, not while I'm teaching at Hogwarts." he trailed off. "Snapey baby I just can't stay away any longer," sighed Kathrynmort. Harry recognised her voice. "You were the voice in the wall!!" he screamed. "Oh well done Potter, have a special star," she retorted, grabbing Snape by the wrist and looking him in the eyes. "Will you come with me baby?" "Um. I.well." "Say yes, please."  
  
Snape sighed and nodded, and he and Kathrynmort skipped out the door, hand in hand. Harry watched them go, hating to see his Professor leave him. "My. preciousssssss." Draco and Ron stood behind Harry, "It's ok Harry, you'll see him again." "Thanks Ron" he said, and walked out the door.  
  
Epilogue  
  
Harry looked out over the lake, the sun was setting and the water was reflecting the pink light. Draco, who was sitting beside him, moved to put his head on Ron's shoulder. Harry heard footsteps hurriedly approaching and turned his gaze towards Legolas, who was running towards them, a huge smile on his face. "Harry! Harry, Snape's Back!"  
  
Harry's eyes widened. Snape? He hadn't seen him in years. 


End file.
